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               The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?" Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask." Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?" Witness: "Er...his face." ----- Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?" Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'" Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?" Witness: "My name is Susan." ----- Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" Witness: "No." Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?" Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere." ----- Lawyer: "What happened then?" Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'" Lawyer: "Did he kill you?" Witness: "No." ----- Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?" ----- Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?" ----- Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?" ----- Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture." Witness: "That's me." Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?" ----- Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?" Witness: "Yes." Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"" ----- Lawyer: "And what did he do then?" Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead." Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?" |
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